Some Pictures

This picture shows Abilgail wearing her CPAP. It was removed on Friday morning.

Daddy is feeding Abigail using a syringe filled with milk from her mama. The milk goes directly into her tummy through the tube that can be seen in her mouth in other pictures.

Today. the CPAP is gone. The mask protects her eyes from the ultraviolet light used to treat jaundice.

New Challenges and Progress

This morning, Lori awoke with a tremendous headache and high blood pressure.  Literally within minutes, doctors had arrived and diagnosed Lori with postpartum pre-eclampsia.  Due to the potentially serious consequences (seizures and kidney failure), Lori has been put on an IV medication and moved back to the Labor-Delivery wing of the hospital so she can be monitored more closely.  So far, her blood pressure has dropped from 195/92 to more manageable levels and her kidney function remains within the expected range.  She still has a headache, but things are looking up from the scare we received this morning.

Abigail continues to improve.  Nurses have removed the CPAP (Continuous Positive Airway Pressure) mask that helped keep her lungs inflated.  One of the chest tubes now has a “water seal” which is the first step leading to its removal.  The only new issue with Abigail is some jaundice which is being treated with ultraviolet light.

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Abigail’s Early Battles

After her mama labored for more than 38 hours, Abigail Elizabeth arrived around 2:15 on Wednesday morning.  Lori is doing great and anticipates a quick recovery.  However, Abigail has been facing some early battles.

Soon after she was born, we noticed that our little girl was having difficulty breathing.  The doctors evaluated our baby’s condition over the next few hours; and by daybreak, Abigail was in an incubator in the Neonatal Intensive Care Unit (NICU).  Even though the delivery was only 3 weeks early, we knew that Lori’s gestational diabetes may have delayed Abigail’s lung development.  Clearly, these problems not unexpected, but I cannot say we were prepared for them.

After considering several different possibilities, the doctors determined that Abigail’s lungs have small holes in them that cause the air she breathes to leak out into her chest cavity.  This condition creates a pocket of air known as a pneumothorax.  Besides depriving her bloodstream of necessary oxygen, the pneumothorax also prevents the lung “sacs” from fully inflating which is necessary for them to heal.

In most cases, these holes heal without invasive procedures, but in Abigail’s case, the doctors have inserted chest tubes through her ribs and into the chest cavity on each side.  The tubes are attached to a slight vacuum which draws the air out of her chest.  With the pressure of the pneumothorax removed, the sacs can fully inflate and begin to heal.

We have been encouraged as we learn more about her condition.  We have learned that a pneumothorax is relatively common (approximately 1 out of 100 babies struggle with them), and we have learned that the doctors are confident of her full recovery within 1 to 2 weeks.  We are anxious to hold her again as soon as possible.

We have also been reminded during this ordeal of the blessings that God has poured out on us and of our reliance on, and faith in His grace.  God is good.

Sadly, there are parents and children alike that suffer through much more than our family has these past few hours.  Please lift all of them up in prayer as you pray for Lori, Abigail and the rest of my family.  Please pray also for the doctors, nurses and caregivers that are God’s instruments for delivering His grace to these needy babies and adults.

Thank you

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Interruptions and Milestones – Redux

Apparently, even interruptions can be interrupted.

Once again, I am writing from a hospital room.  This time, we are awaiting the birth of our fifth child.  Lori is doing well, but beginning to get discouraged after being here more than 24 hours already.

Several weeks ago, ultrasounds clearly indicated the anticipated arrival to be a girl.  Since then, we have settled on the name “Abigail.”  1 Samuel 25:3 describes Abigail as a “discerning and beautiful” woman.  Translated from Hebrew, the name means “Father’s Joy.”  We trust that, if the Lord wills, she will be all of those and more.

Lori was 37 weeks yesterday, making this delivery about 3 weeks early.  Lori’s struggles with gestational diabetes and high blood pressure convinced the doctors to move things up a bit.  All of us are concerned about little Abigail’s lungs because gestational diabetes delays their development, but we are confident that the Lord is sovereign.  In spite of our fears we will trust in Him.

In a sense, this is not truly an interruption in my desire to further explore the emotions I have been feeling since Dad passed almost three weeks ago.  Perhaps, this is the best way for me to reflect on the father/child relationship.  Today’s milestone is affirmation that life continues.  Indeed, beyond mere continuance, Dad’s legacy grows today, and I am reminded that my role and duty as a father continues into the next generation.

I pray that with every generation, we grow in the knowledge of and love for the Lord.  I pray that God gives me wisdom and strength to bring my children up in the “nurture and admonition of the Lord” and train my children to do the same.  I vow to teach Abigail and my other children to glorify God and enjoy Him forever.

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Back On Line

As I’m sure you have noticed, I have struggled getting back to posting on this blog.  The reason is not so much debilitating grief or tremendous time constraints.  I’ve struggled because I’m not sure where I want to go next.  I want to get back to the discussion on Christians in culture, but I feel that I have unfinished business regarding the recent passing of my father.  The trouble is that I do not know precisely what I want to share.  As you might imagine, so many thoughts and memories pass through one’s mind at the death of any loved one.

I have considered a life history of Dad – he lived through a fascinating time in history.  A few months prior to his death, I interviewed Dad and captured his life story on video.  I have a lot of material from which to draw many interesting posts.  I realized, however, that not all my readers would find the stories as fascinating as I do.

I have considered posting a paraphrase of the eulogy that I delivered to the friends and family that gathered for his funeral.  I did not write it verbatim, but I do have brief notes that I used.  From those notes, I could create a single post, but I would want to expand upon each point and develop more detail so those of you that never met Dad could better understand.

I have considered discussing his role as my father and spiritual mentor.  However, the multi-generational aspect of our Christian walk could not be adequately reviewed without starting a whole new blog with a more specific focus.  (I do plan to share my thoughts on multi-generational faithfulness in the future – either here or on another blog).

Finally, I have considered reviewing Dad’s virtues and how they impacted me.  This gesture would be intended to honor my father and hopefully be a beneficial reminder to all of us.  Like the other considerations, this idea is likely to take far longer than I would hope and would require putting off the cultural discussion.

I don’t know exactly what my next post will be, but I will continue to put off the culture discussion.  In spite of the difficulties with each of the above considerations, I feel a need to honor my father’s life and share what will likely be some strange combination of the above ideas.  I want to use this forum to think through all of the things that are in my head regarding Dad – and I must do it while they remain fresh and the emotions still somewhat raw.  I don’t want to move on just yet.

I am still grieving, but it is not debilitating.  There are feelings of sadness and tenderness and loneliness and even joy that I have found to be unique to losing a parent.  I want to explore them.  I want to put down in words for my children the many emotions that I am experiencing.  I want them to see their grandfather in a new way – as a legacy of glorifying the triune God to the best of his ability and to his last breath.

In Memoriam

Psalm 103

Bless the LORD, O my soul, and all that is within me, bless his holy name!

Bless the LORD, O my soul, and forget not all his benefits,

who forgives all your iniquity, who heals all your diseases,

who redeems your life from the pit, who crowns you with steadfast love and mercy,

who satisfies you with good so that your youth is renewed like the eagle’s.

The LORD works righteousness and justice for all who are oppressed.

He made known his ways to Moses, his acts to the people of Israel.

The LORD is merciful and gracious, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.

He will not always chide, nor will he keep his anger forever.

He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities.

For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his steadfast love toward those who fear him;

as far as the east is from the west, so far does he remove our transgressions from us.

As a father shows compassion to his children, so the LORD shows compassion to those who fear him.

For he knows our frame; he remembers that we are dust.

As for man, his days are like grass; he flourishes like a flower of the field;

for the wind passes over it, and it is gone, and its place knows it no more.

But the steadfast love of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear him, and his righteousness to children’s children,

to those who keep his covenant and remember to do his commandments.

The LORD has established his throne in the heavens, and his kingdom rules over all.

Bless the LORD, O you his angels, you mighty ones who do his word, obeying the voice of his word!

Bless the LORD, all his hosts, his ministers, who do his will!

Bless the LORD, all his works, in all places of his dominion. Bless the LORD, O my soul

In Memoriam

James Cody

8/31/1916 ~ 10/8/2008

Interruptions and Milestones

Sometimes, our plans get interrupted. In spite of all our planning, God’s will occasionally takes us to places that cause us to rethink everything. I had planned to continue the discussion on Christians in Culture with this post, but the Lord had other plans.

I am writing this as I sit in a hospital room with my ailing father. In most ways, I am not surprised to be here. At 92 years of age, Father’s combined struggles with diabetes and multiple forms of cancer will soon be over. I cannot say when. He has surprised me before when I have expected the end to be imminent. I didn’t expect him to see his 90th birthday back in 2006. Just a few months ago, I was convinced that he wouldn’t live past 91. In both cases, he rebounded and left those of us that love him waiting for the next crisis.

Now, just a few short weeks from the anticipated delivery of his 11th grandchild, I am again wondering. His remaining time has become a series of milestones – birthdays, holidays, births and deaths. I am praying that he will be with us for the next milestone; that he will be able to see and hold the blessing that the Lord is preparing inside my wife’s womb.

Father is ready. His affairs are in order. He looks forward to the moment that he is reunited with my mother and meets his Savior face to face. Knowing that, I am comforted and I consider myself to be as prepared as a son can be to saying goodbye (for now) to his father.

Regardless of my hopes, the Lord’s plan will come about, and I pray my faith will be strong enough then that I will rejoice in the wisdom and sovereignty of my God.

Still, just one more milestone…